If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

It’s the last day of December, I write this with sleepy eyes and when it just about to finish, I gaze soothingly through the night sky, captivated. I heard the fireworks flashing and exploding also I heard this clock ticking slowly in silence, possessing one last trick, right before my tired eyes even close. The cacophony of fireworks made it clear and sound it loud…

It’s the end…

The end of last year silly dreams…

The end of last year hopeful wish…

The end of last year plans…

Again…

And I could hear people celebrating it, like it some kind of accomplishments, accomplish to live this far? I don’t know, maybe I don’t wanna know

I struck in silence, as everything has changed. I wonder all the things I have (regretfully) done and everything I wish had done, but the clock still tickling, like it doesn’t care at all, it’s continue the ticking…

Tick..

Tock..

Tick…

I never heard that stupid watch ticking before, maybe because I never care, I guess the table has turned…

Now the clock didn’t care…

My father left a sleep on a sofa after watched TV for a while. With his odd little style when sleeping, leg on a chair, arms on the sofa, ahh good old dad, you must tired swimming.

Yes, this time I invite my family to my apartment for holiday. They really had a good time, like how my mother surprisingly learn to swim and watch movies on theatre while foolishly take a spoon from the restaurant we eat, She said “it’s a hard plastic spoon, better take it for home use”. She never did it before. I’m glad I managed to capture all of those silliness on my phone. I guess I miss them, I’ve been busy too much, trying to pursue my dreams…

Pursuing my dreams? That’s my excuse?

Yes, that dream that was ended by a ticking clock who doesn’t even care, just moving on, as it always be for the last billion years. I can’t believe just 7 years ago I started college, and failed because of creating a company for my “brilliant idea” product. Yet also suffer the same fate. Now I look at myself 7 years ago and said: “Ahh you poor little bastard look at your stupid dreams has become”

Me.

It become me.

Benjamin Franklin famously said:

“Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75.”

Wow, what’s that even mean? Well… when you hit teenage you are full of enthusiasm, every new hour you try to find a new way of life, you want to learn everything. You want to try everything possible. You are full of ideals and ideas on how you could change the world to be a better place. Basically you are full of life. You are alive.

Soon enough you start to grow old, everything changes, you do the same chorus every single day, the same damn routine, nothing seems interesting anymore, you go to college, do any degree available, work in a job that you don’t even like, wake up early and be stuck in traffic for hours just to get somewhere where you don’t want to be and just patiently wait for the weekend, the holidays and of course retirement. No motivation to do anything. Life basically without any passion and you miss out to experience the little joys and happiness that life has to offer. In a nutshell you are physically alive but dead from deep within. So you are dead at 25 from your heart but physically alive just to be buried at 75.

You know the worst part? I saw my friend “died” one by one…

As for me, am I dead? Am I a dead man walking now?

Maybe…

I really changed a lot this past 7 years, not to mention getting more fat, but also on my mind, on how I handle things more wisely, on how I believe in things more objectively, maybe on character, well now I think differently. Or maybe not a damn thing. Science said, every 7 years, every atoms on a human body was completely replaced, well here I am, completely changed physically. But in one part is still completely the same.

Yes… I’d still have those silly dreams, made a company, build some products, traveling around the world, somehow make a world a better place, so I could watch the sunrise when I die…

I still believe it…

This one last little spark I have to live…

Woody Allen said:

“If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.”

Yeah, all those plans did look like a joke now. But I will continue to make those stupid plans for my dream though…

Maybe those last stupid dream defined me, even thou the other things are completely different.

Tick…

Tock..

Tick…

Ahh you damn clock…

I had this hateful relationship with this stupid clock…

Yes! I hate you ticking clock…

But not because of your ticking, but because you made me remembered

Something that will make all my dreams just scatter and fall like rain…

Something that almost all of those people outside forgot… even though, they celebrating it…

Something extremely powerful because it will end everything…

But so precious it gave it a meaning…

Our last enemy and our first friend…

Time.

Asyraf Duyshart Written by:

I sold my soul to capitalism, mortgage my heart to humanism.

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